Papa Dork here. My son Hairy and I were absolutely stunned at the reaction
to his review of Robert Altman's "If These Streets Could Talk" that we ran
We received a ton of negative mail, including accusations of being "bought"
by "Hollywood", of "selling out". One reader accused Hairy of using to many
elipses... honestly though... we're not sure what that word means... is it
some kind of drug? I assure you... Hairy is not on drugs. Some particularly
cruel back-talkers even mades cracks about my son's weight.
Let me respond to these charges one at a time:
1. Hairy has "sold out"
Wrong. No Way. Forget it. The integrity of IACITB cannot be bought. The
only things Hairy recieved from the studio were a first-class plane trip to
Hollywood, a cheuffered drive during his stay, a free movie screening, a
hotel stay, meals, snacks, and a trip to the studio's theme park. He did
NOT receive ANY money at all for doing this. How can someone "sell out" if
they don't take any money? ANSWER... they can't. So DROPT IT, you little
2. Hairy's opinion was swayed by gifts.
Again. No. Hairy loved this movie. He loved it before he even saw it. No
amount of gifts would have affected this impartial opinion.
3. Hairy is a fat slob.
This is mean. Hairy has a serious weight problem that stems from glandeuler
malfunctions and has nothing to do with the fact that he spends his days
either watching movies and snacking or sitting at the computer is snacking.
Also, just because we on this site often make jokes about Hairy being a fat
slob doesn't mean you can. Especially not if you disagree with us.
The Back Talk section of our site is meant to discuss the things we love...
the movies. It is not meant to be used as a forum for ripping on how Hairy
conducts his reviews. This is a privately owned site, and while we welcome
all opinions, we do not welcome opinions about Hairy being a fat sell-out.
From now on, anyone caught accusing Hairy of selling his opinions, of being
fat, or calling me delusional or neurotic will be immediately banned from
Back Talk forever. How will you get your giraffes to the grocery store then,
Aunt Minerva? Answer me that. HOW WILL YOU GET YOUR GIRAFFES TO THE GROCERY
Using Talk Back should be very simple for everyone. Just agree with
everything we say or do, and everything will be fine.