Hey, everybody. Bloefeld reporting in.
Is it possible that even the world's greatest criminal mastermind can make a mistake? It is. Not only possible, but it has happened. I made a mistake.
Yesterday, I condemned those of you who were reviewing an unfinished copy of the Hulk Hogan movie. Certain comments left yesterday after that reminded me of ways in which that condemnation might seem a little hypocrytical when compared with earlier acts taken by myself and others here at It Ain't Cool in the Basement News.
So, what I want to say to all of you now is... wait a second... someone's coming in.
Oh, hey! It's Hairy Knavel himself, back from his annual heart bypass surgery. How did it go, Hairy?
HAIRY: Pretty well, for the most part. There was a... slight problem with a blood transfusion... something about an impure donor.. but the doctors say that as long as I relax for the next few weeks I should be fine.
BLOFELD: That's great to hear, pal.
HAIRY: How did everything go with the site while I was gone?
BLOFELD: Well, we got some reviews of an early print of the Hulk Hogan movie.
HAIRY: Awesome! I can't wait to read about them.
BLOFELD: And then I went off on an angry tirade on people for watching a pirated copy.
BLOFELD: Thus alienating a significant portion of our readership.
HAIRY: What? What the hell were you thinking? Why would you.... must... remain... calm. Think... of... elipses... sweet.... peacefull... elipses... GRAAARGH!!!
BLOFELD: Oh my God! Hairy is transforming before my eyes! I wouldn't have thought it possible, but he's actually getting larger! And green? Yes, he's turning green! It's hideous! I'm so stunned by this sight that I can't stop typing out what I'm seeing and run!
BLOFELD: Oh dear God, his clothes are ripping! Please no! Not that! By all that's holy, all that he as left on is a small pair of purple briefs! Good lord! Choke! I'm going to be sick! Blllaaaarf!
HAIRY: Puny Blofeld make Hairy MAD! Puny Blofeld make stupid mess of Hairy's website!
BLOFELD: I'm sorry, I didn't -
HAIRY: Hairy teach puny Blofeld what happen to humans who mess with Hairy! Hairy smash!