A Spooky Haunted Tale for Hallowe'en Time
This is part two of our re-printing of Cap'n Wacky and the Ghost Ship, a Halloween story that originally appeared in "Swell!" magazine in 1956.
If you want to read part one, go back and read it, nobody is stopping you.
That way we don't need to re-cap, see? So all caught up now? Good.
Let's get on with it then.
"Haunted?" gasped Anna, nearly fainting again.
"Gosh, Cap'n Wacky, I wouldn't have thought such a level-headed
corporate mascot as yourself would believe in ghosts," said Kurt.
"I been around a long time, son," said Cap'n Wacky, taking a long puff
on his pipe. "I seen a lot of strange things. Let me tell you a
story."
And this is the story he told them:
NOTE: The next portion of the story may not be reprinted here. It is
mostly a plagiarized version of "The Phantom of the Opera" with the
Cap'n replacing that story's hero with himself. Somehow our lawyers
didn't catch it before.
"Wow," said Kurt. "That's the scariest story I've ever heard."
"I've never heard anything like it," said Anna.
"Right, no one has," said Cap'n Wacky, his eyes darting back and forth
nervously. "Let's change the subject."
"Do you know how we got on this ship?" Kurt asked. "Last I knew, my
girlfriend and I were on the docks, and the next thing we knew we woke
up on this boat!"
Kurt paused a moment. "It is all right that I call you my girlfriend,
isn't it, Anna?"
"Oh, Kurt!" Anna swooned. "I've never heard you say it before."
"I never had the guts to, sweetheart, it just slipped out," explained
Kurt.
"Oh, Kurt!" Anna swooned again.
"ANYway," Cap'n Wacky interrupted loudly, narrowly avoiding his first
case of sea sickness. "How ye got aboard 'tis a mystery, to be sure. I
wish I could take ye back, but now that you're on board, you'll have to
wait until I solve the mystery of this Ghost Ship."
"Gosh, Cap'n Wacky," said Kurt. "We'd do anything to help the man on
every can of Cap'n Wacky Tuna and Dolphin Delight. Is there anything we
can do?"
"I was hoping we might ask that," said Cap'n Wacky. His eyes narrowed
mysteriously, he leaned in close to Kurt and Anna, and said in a low
voice, "There certainly is."
The jovial visage of the Cap'n met Anna's gaze.