The Fifth Contingency

R.J. White

Q: Who is this, again?

A: RJ White.

Q: Oh, okay. So, why's he doing this?

A: He did some television stuff in high school, worked on a sitcom ('The Show') and sketch comedy program ('Sideshow') in college, is taking writing classes at Second City's Detroit theater and thought this was a good idea when Brockie brought it up.

Q: Really?

A: Well, no, not exactly. He was skeptical at first, but things are coming together rather well now and he's impressed with the whole thing.

Q: Huh. Well, that's good, I suppose. How old is he?

A: 26. His birthday is April 15th.

Q: Thanks, but I didn't ask when it was.

A: I just thought I'd throw it in. Sometimes, in these things, people will-

Q: Be that as it may, you didn't have to presume that I wanted to know when his birthday is.

A: Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it.

Q: Oh, geez, no listen- I'm, sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just- well, I haven't been having a good week, and it's been kind of running over into other parts of my job, you know?

A: Like what?

Q: You don't want to know, it's nothing, really.

A: No, come on- what?

Q: -sigh- Okay. It's just that my girlfriend's really getting on my back about her parents. They've never gotten along with me very well, and you know the rest.

A: Yeah- been there, done that.

Q: So, anyway, they're over last- Oh hey, my supervisor's coming. Um, so this "JR White," what's his favorite, um, flavor of Faygo soda?

A: What the hell?

Q: Redpop, right good answer- Okay he's gone. Listen, I'll just make up a bunch of stuff about this asshole. I have to get one of these FAQs done for hatsandshoes.net by this afternoon, so I have to go.

A: Alright, that's cool. Good luck with the parents.

Q: Yeah, thanks. Bye.

A: Oh, hey- throw in a thing about him having a stroke when he was 13.

Q: Wow- really?

A: Yeah, people will find that pretty funny.