
Don Quada
Trephination is the ancient practice of drilling a hole in the skull and
removing a small piece of bone. Although the practice may be ancient and
seem primitive, it is amazingly suited to solving the problems of modern
man; problems caused by the pressures of life in our advanced technological
society. Trephination literally relieves the pressure in your brain.
As you know, Today's society takes care of all your physical needs. Your
abilities for reason and judgment are redundant in a world where all this is
done for you. Your capability of thought is a aftereffect of evolution from
eons ago when thought gave our ancestors a survival advantage. Now there is
no survival advantage to thought. As a result, your ability to think has no
constructive use. In fact, most people channel their idle thoughts into
destructive directions. People start to feel concern for things they cannot
change or understand. This results in stress - the number one killer in the
world today.
Moreover, doctors now tell us that the rate of incidents of depression and
anxiety due to excessive worry is increasing every year. Soon there will not
be enough Prozac to treat all the victims of idle thoughts.
Why worry about your diet, exercise, carcinogens, murder, and war, when the
real cause of misery and death is worrying about these things? And the real
cause of worry is your brain. Yet, how can you not worry? The answer is to
attack the problem and not the symptoms. The problem is your brain.
Today, we can offer more than just trepanning (cranial ventilation). Modern
surgical techniques allow you to choose as much or as little brain
modification to best suit your lifestyle -- from simple Trephination; to
lobotomy; to complete decephalization. Come speak with one of our counselors
who can help you decide which is the best brain for you.
If you have put off brain surgery before because you didn't want unsightly
scars or stitches, then your wait is over. With modern surgical techniques
available only through the Trepan Brain Clinic, no one will ever know of
your surgery. You won't ever have to be seen with you head shaved. We can
use micromanipulators through a small hole in the ear or sinuses to perform
most surgical procedures. You will feel less discomfort; you will go home
faster; and best of all, it's so fast and easy that you don't even need an
appointment.
Remember, only your brain stands in your way of your happiness.
http://www.noah.org/trepan
copyright 2001 - Monkey and a Typewriter Productions