The Cap'n's Log

Only the diletanttes joke around on April Fool's Day. We're here 365, baby.

This week- new Disgruntled Employee of the Month and a Ripped! From the Headlines! combining pop culture and a list, which always equals comedy.

Coming in the near future- some video clips, some more Zonar and pieces by readers just like you, as we're still accepting submissions.

Coming in the far future- Foil jumpsuits and people with gigantic brains that throb.

And on the third day, the brightly-colored eggs rose to shake Charlton Heston's hand

To celebrate Purim, we bring you our wonderful Easter section, chock full of cards featuring rabbits, horrific egg hunts and the absolute truth behind this holiday's darkest conspiracies.

We think you'll find it's EGGS-actly what you're looking for! Great YOLKS like you will love these whimsical features! Don't be CHICKen, check it out! Unless you have TERRIBLE DIARRHEA BROUGHT ABOUT BY CHEAP CHOCOLATE.

Watterson's lucky he got out when he did.

It's no uncommon occurence for things to go on a bit longer than they should. No where is this usually more obvious than in the world of comic strips, where characters can go on for decades after their creators have shuffled off to that great bristol board in the sky. That's why, as a public service, we like to occasionally suggest final chapters to these ongoing sagas that grace our newspapers next to the tv listings every day. This time around, we bring a graceful end to Blondie and Hagar the Horrible. (Whose original creators/writers/artists died in 1973 and 1989, respectively.)

Also, want to write something for the site? Here's how.

Exclusive old alien, inclusive new policy

This week, Zonar reviews Robots, Guess Who?, Because of Winn Dixie, and Be Cool. Can you guess which ones he didn't like? If you guess all of them you are obviously correct.

Don't forget, you only have 6 more drinking days until St. Patrick's Day.

Finally, a special announcement. For the first time in our 5+ year history, capnwacky.com is now accepting submissions for our site. Click on this link to learn how to submit and good luck.

It's all good, baby!

Whew, it's already March? That February just blew right by like some kind of crazy fast February train, didn't it?

Well? Didn't it?

Anyway, it's the first Friday, so we have a new Disgruntled Employee of the Month. Also, a famous celebrity was released from a minimum security prison, so we worked up a list of things that they will now do, as we do every time a celebrity is released from a minimum security prison. Especially if it's Martha Stewart.

Also, don't forget to celebrate the upcoming holiday with the Unfortunate Cards, Irish Blessings and more in the Boatload of Blarney. It tastes better than corned beef and cabbage and is one and a half times funnier.

The latest in macro technology - The Apple I-Blaster

Think different

- by Jonathan "Fashionpants" Muller