Time for spooky Halloween comedia over in the newly redesigned Cap'n Wacky's Boatload of Scary Things Jumping Out At You From the Darkness!
TWO new Halloween treats are available for those of you who are wearing costumes. FIRST: two rival television horror hosts send each other a series of hate letters in Host Writers. Second: Cap'n Wacky tries out another batch of new costumes in The Cap'n's Cavalcade of Costumes.
Third: Don't forget to call mom today, because isn't that what Mother's Day is really all about?
Well, we've already set up the big haunted house for trick-or-treaters here at the office and now have to spend the next week or so dodging giant robotic spiders at the front desk and being covered in gallons of fake blood whenever we need to use the fax machine.
But, you don't want to hear about our problems. Instead, you'd rather read Zonar's opinions on some classic horror films over in the Boatload of Evil. Also, be sure to check out the section chock full of tips sure to garner you the most candy on your block, as long as you're not one of those jerk kids who still tries to go out and greed up some candy at age fifteen or so.
Oh man, we gaurantee that you should have several pairs of pants handy, before you checkout the Boatload of Horror. And not just because of excessive laughter, either.
We will have nurses posted at the front of the section, should any ladies be overcome by the horror. Also, everyone will be expected to sign a release in the lobby before entering. The management will not be responsible for any health problems caused by the sheer terror of the comedy contained within.
Or your pants.
One of America's most accomplished novelists, Philip Roth, has recently released his latest work, amid acclaim and controversy. But, the road to literary greatness is not an easy one for anybody, as this e-mail shows.
All this bookish nonsense aside, do you realize there are a scant few weeks left until Halloween? No? Well, go buy a calendar. In the meantime, check out the Cap'n's Boatload of Evil! Amongst other things, it solves all of your costuming problems.