The Cap'n's Log

The guy writing this has a headache right now.

The headache's mostly from too much ice cream. You see, the fitness craze around the offices of late came to a violent and tasty head this past week, as documented in the latest Amalgablog entry.

Also, it's almost August, which means it's anniversary time once again for capnwacky.com. This time, it's year number five, the wood anniversary, which seems appropriate, given the site's namesake. Next week, we'll have an extended Disgruntled with our very own mascot Cap'n Wacky as the subject. Plus, throughout the month, we'll have all kinds of special treats and surprises. Wooden treats and surprises.

"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars."

If I may, I'd like to personally thank Hollywood for putting out so many quality films that we have a nice, dependable go-to feature every few weeks or so.

On that note-- Zonar catches up with some of this summer's films.

teaser

1974- Joe DiMaggio becomes spokesperson for the The Mr. Coffee® brand brand

Another appliance gets a chance to shine in our reliable Disgruntled Employee of the Month feature.

Can you name the other household (or office-hold) object to be featured in a past 'Disgruntled' feature? What? No, there's no prize.

Well, you could just do it for fun. Oh. Okay. Fine then. No, no, it's fine. I just thought- oh, never mind, just go read it.

Pull them dark socks up high

Check our our reviews section for our review of the Bill Clinton book.

No, not that Bill Clinton book.

The other one.

The paper doll one.

And, yes, this is a real book for reals. You can even buy your own copy right here to have your own Bill Clinton underwear adventures. Or you could just call him and ask nicely.

Starring the voice of KITT as John Adams

It's your patriotic duty to eat your weight in barbecue, blow your fingertips off with a quarter stick and read our endearing and enduring Fourth of July section. And don't worry, there are such things as Fourth of July cards, so there is definitely plenty to mock.

Also, in honor of the holiday, Brodie H. Brockie has worked up the following quiz, to test your American History acumen:

Test your knowledge of American History: Are the following the names of US Vice Presidents or members of the funk band Parliament?

1. Elbridge Gerry
2. George M. Dallas
3. Cordell Mosson
4. Schuyler Colfax
5. Lucius Tawl Ross
6. George Clinton
7. Bootsy Collins
8. Charles G. Dawes
9. Hannibal Hamlin
10. Glen Collins
11. Raymond Davis
12. Charles Curtis
13. Larry Heckstall

ANSWER KEY
Vice Presidents: 1, 2, 4, 8, 9, 12
Parliament: 3, 5, 7, 10, 11, 13
Both: 6