Mom and dad, if you're reading this, it looks like I won't be coming home for Thanksgiving, I just found out a few minutes ago. Apaprently, Mr. White and Mr. Brockie have started a new holiday tradition around the company-- contracting with a major meat-packing concern to handle overflow of their helpline calls around the holidays in order to bring more money into Amalgamated Humor. With me being one of the more recent hires here at the company, I have to spend the day (6 A.M. to 6 P.M.) on a shift with folks here at the company who don't have any friends or family. Thankfully, we'll have free pizza, soda and pretzels.
According to the seating chart, I'll be stuck between Zonar and Marcy Hansen, the cafeteria lady. I don't know, I'll miss the family getting together, but, like Mr. Brockie always says, we're like one big family here. Then, Mr. White usually mumbles something mean under his breath and smirks, just like Uncle Norman, so I guess it is kind of like the old family Thanksgiving, after all.
Speaking of Mr. White, I had an odd thing happen last week. I was working late, around eight or so and heading out, when I noticed the light was still on in his office. I thought I'd stop in and say goodbye for the evening-- it never hurts to be polite-- when Mr. White just sighed sadly and said, "Carson, have you ever had to make a tough decision?"
I was a bit surprised- I mean, with all the stories and what I'd seen of the guy day to day, I was amazed that he seemed to be confiding in me a bit, heck, even showing emotion at all. I hesitated a bit and told him about the time my old hamster Tippy was sick when I was a kid and how my parents let me make the decision whether or not to have him treated or put to sleep. I even found my voice catching a bit as I told the story.
Well, after a pause, he started laughing hysterically and saying I was a huge wuss for having a hamster for a pet in the first place and why would I feel sad about snuffing a glorified rat, anyways? I just kind of let myself out of his office while he was having his laughing fit and went home and drank myself to sleep.
The next morning, there was a big wheel of cheese on my desk and an e-mail had been sent to the entire company, telling everyone to be extra nice to me because I'm "delicate about the mice." Also, Mr. White had fired fifty people.
Sometimes, I don't like it here so much. Hopefully, the holiday party and Secret Santa deal next month will go a bit more smoothly.